that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass..."
So basically a friend and i were discussing a recent break up of mine...
she randomly texted me these lyrics and they so perfectly described this guy.
WHY ARE GUYS SO....I dont know...DUMB!
although i was pretty foolish as well for falling for him.
never again, mind you.
So this guy...came like a stampede of something interesting.
knocked me off my high horse and drove me to cities i had never been before.
his game was tight.
and he was pretty aight....at first!
things got complicated when i caught my eyes wandering and when he started to depend on me for drinks and food when we went out...
i mean dont get me wrong.
im self righteous and independent and i dont mind paying for things.
but this was still so new...i mean come on!...its only gentleman-like to pay for things the first couple of months. especially if youre the one inviting.
or if we show up to the same place....PLEASE fellas....do NOT assume i got you for the rest of the night.
so frustrating.
"I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub"
i should have been smarter than that...
i knew better.
but was blinded by the breathe of fresh air.
and great sex. (hey its true!)
Needless to say...it didnt work out. and im glad that i ended it quickly and before i ended up even more broke and in debt!
im not a sugar mamma.
fuck that shit!
and ladies...we should be treated like queens.
especially the ones with kids. haha
we work too hard to get where we're at and the last thing we need is some scrub ass nigga coming in, doing us real good, then unknowingly robbing us of our common sense and great credit scores.
Use your brains,ladies...
Sure he could give you mulitple orgasms but he sure as hell couldnt hold down he damn fort and provide.
i will say,tho....he was a good guy. for the most part. young, semi selfish,and bratty at times...but he was good to me...just not what i was looking for. maybe thats why he ran back to ex 2 days after we decided to end things. (Good Luck You Guys!)
haha
so fellas...if this describes you:
"If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son i'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son i'm talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty that you don't show love
Oh yes son i'm talking to you (yea yea yea yea...)
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no i don't want no (oh)"
PLEASE...please please please...do not waste my time.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I Aint That Annoying Person At The Bar...
Talking shit about how lame san antonio is and how he cant wait to move. how austins much more sick and how he used to live in dallas. That guy who dreams of san fran or nyc...nah that aint me. ive always loved this place. always.It never fails.... something new is always popping off. Im forever meeting really interesting people. We dont have much here. But we got enough.And im happy with that.I appreciate this place. It never gets cold enough to snow and when its hot its wicked hellish but its decent. mad decent. haha.
Like i said before....nothing but love for san antonio...its just....
lately ive been feeling kind of....idk...old soul-ish?
Im young. Ive been on my own since i was sixteen and i had my daughter when i was eighteen...These things have caused me to grow up quick. that and the fact that ive never hung around with people in my age group. my closest friends exceed me in age by at least 4 yrs...so when yall were 17yrs old, jumping fences after a house party got raided, i was already best friends with bartenders and door guys...but thats besides the point.
The point im trying to make is that i've been blessed with many things in life. Ive struggled thru most of it but i somehow always manage. Someone always has my back. always comes thru. and when they dont...well i have decent luck and hella faith. I somehow crammed life experiences from the ages of 18-25 into a 2yr span by the age of 20. Bittersweet i suppose. Ive met incredible people. ive learned to let go of poisonous ones, and i did it all without ever feeling like i missed out on life because i chose to keep my daughter. Yeah it may sound shitty but lets be real here... there has been a ridiculously dangerous teenage baby boom in san antonio over the last 3 yrs. me and my best friends being part of that baby boom and about 80% of them have/will end in single parents, child support, and drop outs..(highschool and college) and You think you're ready for a child?
Believe me youre not.
"But sabrina you make it look so easy...if you can do it i know i can"
BELIEVE me you cant.
You have no idea whats in store for you. Girls paint this pretty picture of how life will be...having a baby young so your kid will have young parents, getting married, one parent goes to school, the other works, then yall can switch off, get a little apartment near his moms house since she babysits....yeah i know how you think bc alot of idiots think that way.
My daughter wasnt planned but i was foolish enough to plan it out that way once i did find out i was pregnant.
Reality set in real fast.
I worked throughout my entire pregnancy.
My ex cheated on me while i was pregnant.
He didnt get a job til the week after Ava was born.
And he became abusive.
I grew up fast. But its bc i had to. And i got lucky that i was able to experience the nightlife still. even after i had my daughter.
But ive realized something just recently...and its kind of disheartening... even the older ones arent on the same level as me. Maybe its something in the san antonio water...or maybe im just a 35yr old woman stuck in a 20yr olds body. but whatever it is has got me wondering...thinking...daydreaming...itching...to leave san antonio...in search of new skin.new faces. new bones.
voices...i havent heard before.
hands...i havent held.
im looking for someone to cause all kinds of mess in my heart and mind and stomach...
good mess of course.
i want to wonder whats next and not have the slightest clue.
i want to meet someone who can teach me a thing or 2.
im so tired of being the teacher.
and i got responsibilities.
a job
a car
bills
and more importantly, My Child....
They take up most of my time and dedication
but wanting those butterflies.
to feel childlike again....well theres always room for that.
no matter what people say.
So tell me, when's the last time YOU left alive?
Whens the last time love took you for a ride?
;]
Like i said before....nothing but love for san antonio...its just....
lately ive been feeling kind of....idk...old soul-ish?
Im young. Ive been on my own since i was sixteen and i had my daughter when i was eighteen...These things have caused me to grow up quick. that and the fact that ive never hung around with people in my age group. my closest friends exceed me in age by at least 4 yrs...so when yall were 17yrs old, jumping fences after a house party got raided, i was already best friends with bartenders and door guys...but thats besides the point.
The point im trying to make is that i've been blessed with many things in life. Ive struggled thru most of it but i somehow always manage. Someone always has my back. always comes thru. and when they dont...well i have decent luck and hella faith. I somehow crammed life experiences from the ages of 18-25 into a 2yr span by the age of 20. Bittersweet i suppose. Ive met incredible people. ive learned to let go of poisonous ones, and i did it all without ever feeling like i missed out on life because i chose to keep my daughter. Yeah it may sound shitty but lets be real here... there has been a ridiculously dangerous teenage baby boom in san antonio over the last 3 yrs. me and my best friends being part of that baby boom and about 80% of them have/will end in single parents, child support, and drop outs..(highschool and college) and You think you're ready for a child?
Believe me youre not.
"But sabrina you make it look so easy...if you can do it i know i can"
BELIEVE me you cant.
You have no idea whats in store for you. Girls paint this pretty picture of how life will be...having a baby young so your kid will have young parents, getting married, one parent goes to school, the other works, then yall can switch off, get a little apartment near his moms house since she babysits....yeah i know how you think bc alot of idiots think that way.
My daughter wasnt planned but i was foolish enough to plan it out that way once i did find out i was pregnant.
Reality set in real fast.
I worked throughout my entire pregnancy.
My ex cheated on me while i was pregnant.
He didnt get a job til the week after Ava was born.
And he became abusive.
I grew up fast. But its bc i had to. And i got lucky that i was able to experience the nightlife still. even after i had my daughter.
But ive realized something just recently...and its kind of disheartening... even the older ones arent on the same level as me. Maybe its something in the san antonio water...or maybe im just a 35yr old woman stuck in a 20yr olds body. but whatever it is has got me wondering...thinking...daydreaming...itching...to leave san antonio...in search of new skin.new faces. new bones.
voices...i havent heard before.
hands...i havent held.
im looking for someone to cause all kinds of mess in my heart and mind and stomach...
good mess of course.
i want to wonder whats next and not have the slightest clue.
i want to meet someone who can teach me a thing or 2.
im so tired of being the teacher.
and i got responsibilities.
a job
a car
bills
and more importantly, My Child....
They take up most of my time and dedication
but wanting those butterflies.
to feel childlike again....well theres always room for that.
no matter what people say.
So tell me, when's the last time YOU left alive?
Whens the last time love took you for a ride?
;]
Saturday, August 8, 2009
I Have Never Been A Child Of Reticence....
So you can imagine how badly I dislike my job. Im not meant to sit in a windlowless room with a computer and a headset, answering phones…. Im meant to shine…to live…to write words…to impact lives… so why arent i living?….Because mommy’s gotta pay the bills some way, some how… so sacrfice my happiness, artistic and creative views and opinions to put clothes on your back and make sure you got AC when we’re driving in this texas heat?….why yes…..yes i will…and without hesitation too… ill put my dreams on hold to give you everything i can possibly get…. without a doubt in my mind or a heart full of regret. <3
BUT MARK MY WORDS!!! …..Sooner or later everyone will know my name. And by then my little sugared date will have everything she will so rightfully deserve. as will i. bitches and money and houses and shoes! HAAAAAY!;D haha i keed i keed….sorta. <3
They Say She Whispers Words So Sweet, It'll Make Your Mouth Water...
She got gold in her eyes and they sparkle when you call her.
No man nor myth can hold her down for too long.
She a self-righteous girl,before you know it she’ll be gone.
Got an imperfect body mankind sees angelic.
Tastes so good, will turn a saint in an addict.
She got em turnin heads just as soon as she arrives.
She never pays for drinks, but she’ll be drunk by tonight.
Yeah she starin at you,
She battin’ them eyes,
She touchin your hand,
She feedin you lies…
M i n d S o C o m p l e x , W i l l P u t I n g e n i u s M e n T o R e s t.
She’s feelin you right now but will eventually lose interest.
Smile brighter than a lighthouse, On the shore she stands alone.
Singing lullabies to mermaids, Yeah she’s bringin sailors home.
She got braille on her body only blinding light can read.
Touch her if you dare but she’ll make your fingers bleed.
Impenetrable kisses, theyll make your knees weak.
She’s a dancing time bomb, you’re just another casualty.
<3
<3
Ive had this blogger thing for over a year now and i have yet to use it.
i recently opened up a tumblr account and after playing with it for a few weeks
ive decided it was time to put my blogger to use.
it seems more promising and more people use blogger.blogspot/whatever the hell its called.
so this is where it starts. this is where and how ill impact the world.
you dont believe me do you?
:]
well you should.
i dont know what my purpose is in life.
i cant tell you my future and i dont know if success is just around the corner...
but i do know one thing.
im destined for something more.
something big.
something major.
i can feel it...its in my bones and runnin through my veins.
someday people will know my name.
someday shit will stop being so rough.
someday i wont have to work so hard to get Ava,my daughter, everything she deserves.
My name's sabrina.
the nicknames are endless.
im shorter than expected.
funny as hell
and i got a story to tell.
Follow Me...
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